Author’s note: What, JOJO? There are so many places I could comment, but not enough comments to fill the spaces? …think of it another way. It’s always nice for a man to have a space to talk to himself…
Translator’s note: Yeah, I don’t know what they’re talking about either.
“What are yo—Gaaah!”
“It’s someone from that vill—Gaaah!”
“Heh, you’ve done well to come this far! It is I, the strongest of the orcs’ four heavenly ki—Gyaaaa!”
“Wa—wait! My life! Please spa—Aaaaaah!”
Death had swiftly claimed the lives of countless orcs that laid splayed behind me. As I ventured further into the nest, I fixed my gaze upon a pair of future corpses.
That aside, I’ve taken this opportunity to test various skills, but this “instant death” phenomenon has been constantly getting in my way.
“Dina, how’s it going on your side?”
“This one’s… also spoiled…”
My job was to harvest the fillets from corpses and check for wounds. If the meat was in a healthy condition, it was stored away in a sack. Dina would see to everything else. Apparently, she’s using transfer magic to deliver the remaining corpses to the tower. She’s going to make some jerky with our “fruits of labor.”
While I’m grateful to have such a reliable secretary, we’ll be a bit overstocked with dried meat. Selling some into the market might be a good idea. Either way, I’ll leave it up to Dina.
“This should be our final destination.”
Kicking the door open, I staged my entrance. .
The next moment, the startled guards’ heads rolled to the ground. At the far end of the hall, a differently colored orc was impaled as it attempted to flee. Since only normal orcs drop orc meat, I had no business with an orc lord, a variant species.
“That should be the last of them, right?”
Hearing Dina’s reply, I exhaled.
Murder… comes to me like breathing. I’m afraid I won’t be able to return to Earth even if I wanted to. Frankly, someone who thinks nothing of human lives has no place in Japan.
“And uuh, the kidnapped villagers—oh, there they are.”
Dina’s gaze fell on a cage just steps away.
On a second thought, was it really a cage?
Indeed, they were made unable to escape. That’s for sure.
However, the cage was well-furnished, the captives were properly clothed, and precious stones and flowers had made their way the inside. Although their sleeping expressions were tinged with fear, not a finger was laid on them. At another glance, they looked almost like royalty.
Though that’s how it should be, this would mean the orcs were actually decent creatures. They abducted women. That’s for sure. However, it was done with the sincere purpose in mind.
For some unfortunate reason or another, all orc offspring are male, which leaves them no choice but to abduct female members of another race to breed with. In addition, they only target human mates since they’re only race that can cross-breed with another species. Hm? Elves? They wouldn’t even bat an eye.
However, it doesn’t just end with mating.
A barbaric race like orcs are unable to properly nurse their own children. So unless they want the women to abandon their offspring, they would rather not displease them.
This is quite the troubling matter for orcs. That’s why they try their hardest to please the women. They offered a lifestyle more luxurious than their own, provided plenty of food, and even went as far to proffer up jewels and flowers to curry their favor. Even then, they would never lay a hand on a female without her consent and would protect the girls with their lives on the line.
Despite their impure motives, they’re a herd of well-mannered pigs. However, that means little to the captives, and being worshiped by the monsters is just plain creepy. Although they’re pitiful, it’s impossible for them to live in harmony with the other races.
“Alright, the girls are unhurt. Let’s return them to the village.”
“Should I erase their memories?”
“Why would we need to?”
“I think it would be for the best if they forgot about being kidnapped by the orcs.”
“Hmph, are there any limits on your abilities?”
“If you’re interested, I could rewrite both their personalities and their memories.”
“…Well, it doesn’t seem like we’ll have to go that far. They look completely untouched after all.”
The girls should be fine for the time being. Although I’m sure it was a frightening experience, they made it out unharmed. That said, I’ll make sure to confirm this with the actual captives. And naturally, Dina will be the one doing the checking. I won’t lift a finger.
Despite turning into a female, I’m still a man at heart. In other words, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so. I’ve also lost interest in the opposite sex (females) in the process. It’s sort of pathetic …it’s hard to believe I used to hide my porno collection under my dresser.
“I understand. I’ll finish up in just a moment.”
“Alright. Try to work as fast as you can.”
Leaving the girls in Dina’s care, I began searching the chamber.
There should be plenty of stolen property and crops from the village hidden here.
I’ll try to return as much as I can to the village. Even if I pity the orcs, I’m not kind enough to abandon my job. Besides, stealing is stealing. My sympathy doesn’t lighten any of their crimes.
Leaving the shelter of the orc nest, I channeled power into an alchemist skill.
Though the caves haven’t done anything wrong, it would be careless to leave them as is. The lingering scent of orcs might invite more of their kind, and their first instinct would be to attack the nearby village. So to prevent worse from coming to worst, I’ll be thorough with my work.
“Transmute, Hrungnir’s right arm.”
As soon as the words left my lips, a massive fist of rock materialized above the caves. Roughly 50 meters wide, it’s an advanced alchemy skill that excels in both range and magnitude.
The caves were crushed mercilessly, reducing the former settlement to rubble. A thunderous roar shook the air, the earth trembled, and debris scattered in the wind. Any slim chances of survival of the earlier massacre disappeared with the nest.
“Thank you for your hard work, Ruphas-sama. All of the captives are without a scratch.”
“Ah, good job.”
Having returned to my side with transfer magic, I thanked her for her hard work. Well, in reality, she did far more work than I did. Preserving the orc meat, selling it to the market, taking care of the captives—It’s a wonder as to why “Ruphas” would treat her as an ornament before “I” replaced her. Isn’t she ridiculously capable?
“Aaah. Which reminds me. I tried roasting this while I was at it. Want a bite? You should be plenty tired after moving around so much.”
Dina pulled a plate out of thin air, holding it up for me to see.
A savory, golden-brown steak rested on its surface, and an appetizing scent wafted through the air.
“It’s orc steak. It should be delicious with a serving of rice, you know?”
“Great, I’ll have some.”
Without another word of protest, I rested my bottom on a tree stump.
Come to think of it, I haven’t taken a single bite of food since being summoned here. With so many things happening at once, it’s easy to forget not even a day has passed since I arrived. So my fingers snapped, and a wooden table rose from the ground.
“Wait, so orc meat keeps its buffing effects after being roasted?”
“Rest assured. It’s safe to cut the meat after it’s removed from the corpse. It’s orc fillet, a rare delicacy that raises the vitality of the person who consumes it. However, if harmed while the orc is alive, it loses its enhancing effects and the vitality is scattered throughout rest of the body. Whereas if it’s intact at the time of death, the vitality remains concentrated in the fillet… or so I’ve heard.”
“What’s this—mystery food?”
While listening to Dina’s explanation, I transmuted some wooden utensils and began dividing up the steak. The tender meat melted under the knife, filling me with anticipation.
And then, a single bite.
The delicacy dissolved in my mouth, it’s savory juices caressing my taste buds. Although it’s an overused expression, there’s no other way to express the tender sensation on my tongue. The delicious flavor that filled my mouth left me speechless.
Moreover, the tare sauce that complemented its sweet-salty taste was irresistible. It brought out the true potential of high-grade meat. Then, scooping up a spoonful of rice into my mouth, I discover another interesting combination. The strong flavor of steak and a mouthful of rice merged to form another serving of ecstasy. The two contrasting tastes worked in perfect harmony to cover for each other’s weaknesses.
“Is this tare sauce homemade?”
“Yes, is it to your liking?”
“Yeah, it’s amazing.”
I could eat forever. Although steak is best made with beef, I can’t really make light of pork steak now that I’ve experienced it firsthand, can I? The delicious quality of their meat really proves that you really can’t judge a book by its cover. It almost makes it okay for the orcs to be so hideous.
“Dina, you’re not going to eat?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Hmph, alright then.”
Is she being considerate, or does she detest orcs? Well, since she says so herself, I won’t think too hard about it. Everyone has some kind of pet peeve or another. Having helped myself to the rest of the orc steak, I pulled up my status.
STR (strength): 9200
DEX (dexterity): 8750
VIT (vitality): 10300
INT (intelligence): 7300
AGI (agility): 10778
MND (willpower): 7550
LUK (luck): 9280
Alright, my health points went up accordingly. I still have four remaining fillets, so I can continue to raise my maximum health by at least 400 points. Though my HP is already beyond human comprehension, I’ll continue to push the limits.
Actually, since competition has completely vanished, I’ll be able to hunt orcs to my heart’s desire. Even breaking into the millions doesn’t seem like such a distant goal.
…on a second thought, that’s impossible. No matter how delicious orc fillet is, it can’t become a staple food. Besides, I’m willing to bet that the orcs would go extinct long before I could achieve those numbers. I’m rather surprised they weren’t eradicated 200 years ago.
“Thank you for the food. It was truly delicious, Dina.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
Having finished the meal, Dina teleported along with the tableware. She returned only seconds later—this time without them. They were probably left somewhere in the tower.
…transfer magic must be so nice. I have zero aptitude for magic, so I’m seriously jealous.
“Now then, let’s return, Ruphas-sama.”
After this short exchange, we departed for the village. During the trek back, I asked about her memory manipulation skill to break the silence.
“About your memory manipulating ability you mentioned earlier—Is there any way for someone to undo the spell?”
“My magic can’t be undone in most cases. However, if the personality written over is too strong-willed, then it’s possible for them to return to their original state.”
“I see. So even if you erased their memories, there’s a small chance that a few might recall being abducted.”
While contemplating Dina’s explanation, I muttered to myself. Although she’s able to manipulate memories, it’s still an imperfect ability. Perhaps it didn’t erase memories, but rather hid them in the subconscious? Maybe that’s why there’s always a chance that someone could recover their memories.
“It seems like a really convenient skill, but sounds like a real pain to handle.”
“You got that right.”
Dina smiled wryly. Memory manipulation, huh?
That would be great for destroying evidence. There are plenty of scenarios in which this could come in handy.
Before we knew it, we had already arrived at the village with the former captives. Since I couldn’t move my arms out from under my overcoat, the unconscious girls levitated in midair with the help of telekinesis.
“Ooooh! So you’ve returned! And those girls! So they were safe!”
The village chief hurriedly greeted us as we arrived. Setting the girls down gently by the chief, I took a step back. I’ll leave all the talking to Dina, as always.
“Yes, it appears that we made it in time before the orcs made a move on them.”
“Oho, that’s good to hear. There’s nothing more I could wish for.”
Having delivered an explanation, I handed the girls over. In the end, all the kidnapping had amounted to was some pampering from the orcs. However, the girls only grew more frightened, and not a single orc was able to capture a woman’s heart.
Appearance is key. Orcs carry the ultimate disadvantage the very moment they are born. Regardless of how gentlemanly they act, that is the one obstacle that they can never hope to overcome in this cruel world.
“Well then, here’s the 1500 eru that I promised.”
“That, and… um, do you happen to know about the golem that has been guarding the village? Even us commoners can sense its tremendous power.”
“That is a gift of kindness from my master. By all means, use it for the protection of the village.”
I pondered to myself as the conversation went on. We’ve now obtained the food and funds for our travels. I feel like my worries have grown recently, but that’s completely natural—considering the fact that I just transported to a parallel world. It’s like visiting a foreign country, but on a completely different level.
That’s enough for today. We will depart tomorrow.
Who knew a single day could feel so long?
- Orc monologue of 200 years ago
High-level adventurer: “Bahaha! It’s an orc! Kill it!”
HIgh-level adventurer: “You’re dead meat!”
Orc: “Gaaaah! What are you people!? Do you guys have no hearts!?
High-level adventurer: “Whaaaaaat!? Did you not hear what I said—!? Meat is my everything! It’s an era of gallant heroes!”
High-level adventurer: “What’s the color of YOUR meat!?”
High-level adventurer: “Keep quiet and let us eat your meat!”
High-level adventurer × 10: “Wha—!? An orc just spawned!? Waha! The early bird gets the worm!” DONDONDONDONDON
Orc: “You guys aren’t humaaaaaan—!!
Additional information: The sum of the class levels is equal to the level cap. This means a level 200 player will have a sum of 200 class levels. That’s why Ruphas has a sum of 1000 class levels. End of story (Chapter, I mean.)